It was a weekend and my current boyfriend and I were discussing what we wanted to do. I was freshly divorced and my kids were at their fathers home, so I had free time from my everyday responsibilitys. You would think that I would cherich every minute and make it worthwhile, but here I was, pouting and beeing stubborn as hell. Every suggestion from him felt wrong and was immediately dismissed. No matter what he said, it just didn´t felt right. After a while he just stood there, looked at me and asked me calmly, what was wrong with me. This calm question just broke the tension and left me utterly gobsmacked, because I realized that I wasn´t able to answer it. At that moment I couldn´t understand myself. Me, a grown women, mother of two children, educated and sophisticated, was sitting on the couch and just beeing unreasonable. Before I could ponder about it any further, I was distracted by him and immediatly ” forgot” about it.               

Of course it wasn´t the first time that I acted like that, sometimes unpredicted, sometimes unreasonable, stubborn, angry, sad, desperate and so on…….           but for the first time I was consciously aware that I didn´t knew myself at all.

 It still took me a couple of years to be ready for this journey of finding my true self, to dig deep inside my subconscious and unravel every hidden truth, but it was the best thing I´ve ever done and Iˋm proud of myself!